What I am about to share may or may not be applicable to all new moms. I understand that every woman goes through pregnancy and motherhood in her own unique way, but by the virtue of sharing my thoughts and feelings with other mothers, I have understood that no matter who and where you are are, motherhood is overwhelming. Most people don't talk about that part. Motherhood is painted to be this rosy, blissful and magical journey full of cute clothes, picture perfect moments and memories that you cherish for a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, it is definitely all that. But it is also sleep-deprivation, exhaustion, stress, tension, fatigue and whole lot of other not-so-rosy things. As a first time mother of three years, I am still coming to terms with how much my life, and I as a person, have changed. It's like the timeline of my life was divided the moment my daughter was born. Everything is either before she came into my life or after. Here are some things that I have gone through, and I am sure other new mums can relate to.
- I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared: From setting a simple schedule to tackling everyday parenting problems, every challenge is unique and requires a skill set that I sometimes lack. The moment I relax thinking that I have figured my child out, I see a new trait or side of hers. After all she is only growing. But it is frustrating nevertheless.
- I feel guilty of everything I do: And because I feel unequipped, I constantly worry about everything I do as a parent, wondering if it was the right step forward. The paranoia is so bad that even before buying a children's book, I spent hours researching and going through the reviews of the book.
- I try way too hard to be a ‘good mom’: I want to be organised, disciplined, cool and fun mom. All at the same time. But for that, I probably have to forget that I am only human. As a mother and primary caregiver to my daughter, I feel this immense pressure on me to be the best everything in her eyes.
- I REALLY want a break – from my baby: It is apparent that I am exhausted at times, right? It is like my life as a mother and me as everything else is running parallel. No matter how much help I have, there's still a lot that I won't trust anybody with. When it comes to my baby, I want to be in charge, and that is exhausting.
- Sometimes, I don’t appreciate all the advice I get: No offence. Most of the times the advice may be coming from a good place, but I don't like being chastised all the time. How and for how long I breastfeed my child is my look out and the same applies to how I dress her. She is my child and I can look after her. Thank you.