There's a popular Hindi idiom on the lines of women being their own worst enemies. And if you are a woman, you know exactly what I mean. The way we treat each other, the way we talk and pass comments, or even the passive-aggressiveness that we reserve only for fellow women is pathetic. We shame women, every day, in many subtle ways, and often, without realising that it is shaming. There are a few things that we commonly, and unapologetically, say to other women which are plain shaming. These are the things that we need to stop saying to other women to make our world a more positive and happy place.
- Fashion shaming: Judging a woman for the way she dresses is very commonplace. If you dress traditionally, not keeping up with fashion fads, you are a behenji. If you are a fashionista, wearing the latest trends, then you are vain. If you spend your days in skirts, kurtas and wearing anything that your heart fancies, you are a hippie. Why can't a woman wear what she likes and just be herself. We don't necessarily need labels.
- Body shaming: Whether you are fat, skinny, had wide hips, big breasts or fdlab around the belly, you will be shamed and called names. There's no particular body type which qualifies as 'perfect', so why bother with shaming? As long as a person is healthy, why worry about their shape? We are all humans, not mannequins manufactured in a factory.
- Slut shaming: Isn't it high time we stopped discussing and bothering with others people's dating and love life? What I do, how many people I meet and date is my lookout. If you do not approve of such a 'lifestyle', its completely fine. What is the point of sharing all the feminism and 'girl power' memes on Facebook when girls are still expected to behave in the 'sati-savitri' way?
- Commenting on failed relationships: You know what shaming conveys? Insensititvity. To comment and judge people is being insensitive. You can decide to move away from things and people you do not approve of, instead of passing shameful remarks. Commenting and judging a woman for failed relationship/s is the lowest of low blows.
- Competing with your own tragedy: If a person shares their grief with you, it's your job to console them and say kind words. What a lot of people do instead is they will belittle your tragedy by sharing their own. 'Why are you crying over your labour of 6 hours? I was in labour for over 10 hours!' Why make such hurtful comments and try to belittle a person's pain? A sympathetic hug would be much better.