There is so much information about sex out there. How do you sift out all the myths from the truth? Well, ladies, here are some things you should know about sex.
There's more to a man than his penis: Yes, it is the most sensitive part of his body and it definitely needs and deserves your attention. But know that there are other parts of his body that can turn him on too. For instance his lips, neck, ear lobes, chest, back, nape, inner thighs and groin. Kiss, touch and caress these areas. Give them enough attention and you'll see how excited he becomes. You may also like to read about how to lick his ears to turn him on.
The bottom line: Men love to be pampered and caressed too. Give his body some attention just as you'd like him to do for you.
He doesn't notice your flaws: No matter how terrible you think you look in the buff, know that the urge to have sex is far stronger than all those flaws you think you have. According to Iam Kerner, author of the book 'She Comes First', during sexual arousal the neurochemical cocktail that courses through a man's body is very high, and he often gets so wrapped up in the feeling that he is too overjoyed to notice your flaws. So put aside your body-image issue and have as much fun as he is having. You may also like to read about these tips from our expert about how you can get over any body image issues you might have.
The bottom line: You are beautiful, just the way you are. Don't doubt it. The more confident you are, the sexier you'll be to him. Plus a confident you is more likely to enjoy sex than one who is worrying about how she looks and feels.
The first time with a man may not be perfect: The first time you have sex with a partner, it may not be perfect. It can be awkward and the two of you may require some practice to get each other's rhythms right (yes, there is a rhythm). So if it's not the most mind-blowing sex you've had the first time, don't judge him or the experience. Give it some time and you'll see that it does get better with time. Here are some tips to have great sex the first time.
The bottom line: Allow for some leeway the first time around.
Move with him: Thrusting or moving is not the responsibility of the man alone. You should move too. Try to find his rhythm and match it. Your moving to his speed and motion will intensify the pleasure you both feel and what's more, you'll be more proactive! Which, by the way, is a huge turn on. So move and moan. Tell him what you want and how you like it.
The bottom line: Thrusting is important, don't just lay there.
Men like it when you are proactive: Being proactive in bed, and when it comes to sex, is a big turn on for men. Don't let him be the only one initiating the act, show him you want it too sometimes. Whisper in his ear and tell him what you'd like him to do to you or better still, message him your intentions. You could even dress up sexily one night and entice him. Apart from that, while you both are having sex or even during foreplay, pleasure him too. Don't be the one hogging all the attention. Sex is a lot more than just penetration. You may also like to read about things you should know about sex.
The bottom line: Making the first move does not make you anything but a woman who knows what she wants. Don't shy away from it. And if a man finds that unattractive, maybe you need to rethink the situation.
Take some time out for yourself before sex: It is important you unwind before you have sex. All the stress of the day's work, family, friends and household chores can put a dampener on your sex drive. So instead of just jumping into the sack, take some time off, have a hot shower, relax and then you'll be ready to have some steaming, hot sex.
The bottom line: Sometimes, putting yourself first is essential for a good experience, right?
The more you have of it the more you'll want it: Sex makes you feel good and your body remember that. Therefore, once you've had some of that yummy pie, you'll definitely want some more (especially if it was great). So acknowledge that feeling and know that it is normal. Don't guilt yourself into thinking that it is not the right thing to do or feel.
The bottom line: Go, get your man and show him how much you want him. We promise it'll be really hot!
Don't worry about orgasming: Thinking about the fact that you want to orgasm or that it may not happen is the perfect way to ruin your chances of having one. Not only does it make you extremely anxious, but it also reduces the flow of the happy hormone, and tenses you up -- making it more difficult for you to experience an orgasm. So, just enjoy the moment. Every aspect of his touch can be enjoyable -- the orgasm will happen all on its own. You may also like to read about these tips to orgasm during sex.
You can touch yourself during the act: Sometimes you just need to give your man a hand and touch yourself. This can be extremely sexy for the man you are with. Not only will you be able to help the guy out, but you'll also turn him on. You may also like to read about these tips to masturbate the right way.
The bottom line: There are instances when you touching yourself can be very hot and then there are those times when your man may not really like it. So gauge how he feels about it, and then proceed.
Focusing is important: There are a number of times when women have too much on their mind and tend to get distracted extremely easily. But, when you are having sex try to focus all your attention on the act at hand. This will not only help you be an active part of the entire process but it will feel so much better.
The bottom line: Once you stop your mind from wandering to other thoughts you'll see the difference. A good way to do that is to actually participate, talk to your partner, touch feel and move with him.
Feeling guilty doesn't help: There will be times when either your partner is unable to perform or doesn't have an orgasm. Then there are those moments when you wish you had done something differently. There is no need to feel guilty. You can always try once again. If it bothers you too much, talk to your partner and figure out what the problem could be.
Kegels is the key: Kegel's exercise is great for you. It strengthen and tone your PC (pubococcygeal) muscles which help you tighten them during sex making your orgasms more intense and sex much more pleasurable. You may also like to read more about how to do the kegel's exercise.
You might experience pain during sex, don't panic: Some amount of pain when you are having sex for the first time is normal. Even if it is at some point later, it could be due to dryness in your vagina. If that is the problem consider using a good lubricant. But if the pain is persistent then it is a good idea to get checked by your gynaecologist. You may also like to read more about the causes for pain during sex.
Always pee and clean-up after the act: No matter how strong the urge is to cuddle, make sure you get up and pee after you have had sex. Apart from that you must make sure you clean up the area with some warm water. Why? all of this will keep your privates healthy and safe from infections like UTI (urinary tract infections). Here are some tips to stay clean after sex.
Sex gets better with age and experience: It absolutely does. You know what to expect, you are better at it and you are more tuned into what your body want, likes and wishes it would have. So don't think of age as a barrier, instead think of it as a wonderful boon that make things so much better.
It's okay to masturbate even if you are in a monogamous relationship: There are times when you just want to pleasure yourself. This is absolutely normal too. And if you feel guilty about have your partner join the fun and watch you masturbate. you may also like to read about masturbating after marriage.
Don't fake an orgasm: Yes, it's normal to do, but it isn't the best practice. While you might do it to help make your partner feel better know that it sends out the wrong message. If what he is doing does not make you feel good and he doesn't know about it, how is he ever going to know that he has to change his technique? Instead of faking it, tell him that it's not working out for you and tell him how you'd like it.
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For more articles on Sex & Relationships, visit our Sex & Relationships section. For daily free health tips, sign up for our newsletter. For Sex & Relationships related queries, visit our forum.